Roadblocks and hurdles.
There’s always some out there in the race of life. We’ve all tumbled and fallen flat on our faces before. Scraped an emotional limb and cried in pain. Then even when we tried to let the pain heal, we at times may have picked at the scab, actively doing things that were doing more harm than good to our recovery.
For you, maybe it was a bad breakup. Or maybe it was the lost of a loved one. Or maybe it was being laid off from a job or not getting the dream job that you just KNEW was going to be yours. When these things happen, it seems like time suddenly stops for you to absorb the impact of the blow. Your mind draws in exact details of the moment for it to replay in your memory over and over again. At times, it even feels hard to breath. At times, it’s such agony to wait for time to pick up the pace again. The process to move on can be a huge challenge to a wounded heart or mind.
I’ve definitely experienced my fair share of these moments in life and in turn have learned some great life lessons that have made the transition easier to a new normal life. (Because we all know that after some of these types of moments, life never returns to what it was before.) Here are a few things I urge you to try to do if you’re trying to move on.
1) Write down your goals and go after them.
They don’t have to be big goals, but they can be smaller ones. Actually I would go so far to suggest having a mixture of small and big ones. Once you create those goals, break them down into a checklist of small doable tasks that if you achieve them you will in turn reach your goal.
2) Submerge yourself into your interests and hobbies.
Did you use to love dance? Go sign up for dance classes. Haven’t worked out in ages? Start a new workout routine. Have a long To Read list? (*raises hand*) Go purchase the first book on that list and make a reading plan to knock it out. This is a great time to busy yourself from feeling sorry for yourself. Find what you enjoy and what interests you and fully explore them. Improve your skill set. Reaching those milestones of accomplishment is exactly what you need to make you feel better despite the roadblocks you’ve ran into.
3) Remember the other important people and situations in your life.
When we run into major problems, we unintentionally become selfish. Suddenly we are all about ourselves and how much we’re hurting. We have a blind eye and ear to everything that may be suffering around us due to our neglect. Our other priorities have been replaced by the priority to lick our own wounds. Think about who your actions are affecting. Think about who you’re neglecting. Maybe it’s attention to your child. It may be your friends. It may be your job or education. They all need your attention as well.
Remember when I mentioned how having a sense of accomplishment can do wonders for you? Take it a step further by helping others. Now you’re focusing not on the success for yourself but the success of others. Whether it’s mentoring, delivering meals, tutoring, spending time with the elderly, tending to a community garden, when you see how you’ve helped someone else, it’ll give you a wonderful sense of fulfillment. Trust me on this one. Sometimes the pain we experience can make us feel like we’re not worth sticking around but when you volunteer to help someone else, it helps you to realize how you can make a positive influence on someone else. You matter.
5) Pray and seek God for peace.
I don’t know if you’re a spiritual person, but what greatly helped me through difficult times is taking the time to pray and read my bible. God doesn’t want you to hurt. He will give you the strength and energy to keep going if you just seek Him and ask. By having a consistent daily prayer time every morning, God restored my heart and helped me be more positive in tackling the day. God can do the same for you!
So what’s the bottom line?
The bottom line is do not allow yourself to feel like time has stopped because it hasn’t. Life still goes on, and you need to be going with it. Before you know it, you’ll be so caught up in these new and good things that are happening, the pain that you’ve experienced will no longer suffocate you. Fill all your time with good things and good beginnings, and take things slowly. Be patient with yourself. Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, month by month, and before you know it, you’re over it…
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